Desire To Be Understood

"엄마 안보고 싶어?" 

"Don't you miss your mom?"

Jasmine Teacher, our amazing secretary at Little America, asked me this question last week in the elevator after another long work day completely out of the blue. Of course I miss her. I miss her every day! There's no other feeling than that of spending time with and hugging your mum. Those of you who have the chance to do so, please don't take advantage of your close proximity yours. Some days are worse than others with regards to home sickness. It's not that I'm not loving it over here, that's definitely not the case. It's more just missing the people back home. Seeing pictures of my family's recent trip to Arizona, and talking with them nearly every day helps, but it definitely makes my heart pine to be with them even more. Jasmine Teacher asking me this got me to wondering whether Koreans here think foreigners are just a little crazy for leaving their friends and loved ones behind to go on their own to a completely new country. Saying goodbye to those who love you most. I wonder what they must think about our relationships with those back home. Mine has grown stronger from this experience I believe. I appreciate every Skype and text while I'm here so much more than when I was home, or attending Hood. This is turning into one of those soppy "I miss my family" posts very quickly- but I just wanted to share my thoughts on that quick little question asked of me in an elevator that sparked some self-reflection.

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Now, to the fun stuff. Going to catch you up on the past two weeks! Starting with last week- we celebrated St. Patrick's Day by attending the huge celebration put on by the Irish Association of Korea. Because I've been here over a year, I've begun repeating events (aka I went last year too). However, each event changes depending on who you go with. This year was with a completely different crowd, and it was a great time! It's always surprising to see the number of Koreans there celebrating an Irish-based holiday...A Korean band played some Irish music, and then a group of girls performed Irish dancing! The combination of these two cultures is kind of hilarious, but shows how interconnected the world can be.

Always a great time- but these things get a bit wild later on. It was perfect to enjoy the sunshine and music during the beginning of the party, and then sneak away stealthily near the end to miss the huge throng of foreigners swarming the subways on their way to the next drinking hole. 

The weather here is slowly but surely warming up (thank the lord!). I spent the rest of that weekend soaking in as much sun as I could. I really hope the trend continues, because I've put away my winter coat in protest and I don't plan on bringing it out again in Korea. Wow...that's a crazy thought.. I'm not going to have another Korean winter (yesssseuuhh).

Anyways- this past weekend is what you all probably checked out my blog to see. The coworkers and I headed off on yet another Wink trip to the Maehwa Festival and a Temple Stay at Seonamsa Temple. The adventure began by catching the bus a a subway station about an hour from Bucheon, and then traveling through the night to a Jimjilbang in Jeonju (a Jimjilbang is a Korean spa, with a common area for people to sleep for a veryyyyy cheap price on a little mat with a pillow made from a rock). Groggy, stiff, and cold we find a tiny spot on the floor and try to get some sleep before the long day ahead. 4 hours later (with probably only about an hour of sleep) Vanessa and I get up to check out the spa to relax in a steaming hot bath for a bit. I have to say that I've gotten very used to being completely naked around a whole room full of old Korean ladies. Something I never thought I'd say.

A group of us met up that morning to take a walking tour of a traditional hanok village in Jeonju. The old houses and sculptures make you wonder what Korea looked like before all of the high rise apartments and mind-blowing traffic. Eventually, on our stroll, we bumped into this giant Catholic cathedral (전주 전동성당). The church was build to commemorate the death of several Roman Catholic martyrs. Definitely an odd thing to see in a traditional Korean town, but I shouldn't be surprised by strange things here anymore.

Korean breakfast- Kimchi and Rice

The group was then packed up on the bus and headed out to the Maehwa (a type of flowering tree) Festival located in Seomjin Village. Driving up there was the usual trail of cars and buses in a dead stop, so we hopped off the bus to walk to the festival. The trees were in bloom all over the hill sides covered in small white and pink flowers. It made it feel like spring had finally arrived! The festival itself was a standard Korean celebration complete with fried foods, traditional Korean food restaurants, and old people performing on stages scattered around the area. One ajeossi actually wore a small school girl skirt and tights with a crop top, his hair in pig tails and had bright red cheeks. The audience for this performance was mainly older Koreans, who were falling off their chairs laughing with this man. We were reprimanded for taking pictures of him, despite trying to document our curiosity for you all. We walked around exploring the festival, found a fresh coconut to drink (random), fed some donkeys (??), and enjoyed people watching. They had an area of international food tents. Can you guess what the American tent had? Yep, chicken and beer. Woo America!

floating bridge

Leaving the festival, we got BACK on the bus, to drive to Seonamsa Temple about 2 hours away. This would be my second temple stay here in Korea. If you don't remember my first, and have a lot of free time at the moment, you can refresh your memory here! Previous Temple Stay

This temple is tucked away in the mountains of Suncheon, often used for filming TV shows because of its authentic look. We arrived at the temple and were divided into our rooms for the night, then given our temple stay outfits (super stylish) to wear around for the two days. First, we met our guide, a Monk who we never get to know his name, unfortunately. I later learned that Monks do not use their given names at the temple in order to not grow attached or form close relationships. I feel like this is a sad way to live life, but he seemed happy. He went through the rules of the temple for us. Firstly, we must organize our shoes nicely outside of the buildings of the temple, for just as our shoes are aligned, our minds and bodies will be aligned. Next, he taught us how to bow correctly. The two bows used in the temple are half bows, which are used when one enters or exits a building, greets another monk on the temple grounds, and throughout prayer ceremonies. The second are full bows, which are also used during ceremonies. From my last temple stay, you may remember the 108 bows we completed in our small group at 4:30 in the morning. Yep, those bows. I'll get to that later.

 Lastly, our Monk told us that there are three places of silence in this temple. Firsly, you must be silent in the dining area. Think about the gift of food that has been given. Next, you must be silent in the restroom. He explained that just as we are relieving ourselves of...things...we must also use that time to relieve ourselves of other stresses and uncomforts of the mind. The last place is the shower area, which, for similar reasons as the restroom, is a time for cleansing the body and the mind.

 

 

Next, we were led to a smaller room near the main hall. In this room we sat on our individual mats and had the opportunity to make our own 108 bead chain representing the bows we would complete later on. In my last temple stay I did not get this opportunity, for they were just given to us pre-made. Our guide told us to sit silently and only think about stringing one bead at a time. This was about as close to meditating as I could get (my mind wanders). He then tried to explain why it is 108 bows. This is incredibly difficult in Korean let alone translating into English through our poor Wink Leader. Overall, there are 3 groups of 36 (past, present, and future). Those small groups are then broken into 2 subgroups of 18 (good and evil). Those 18 are then broken down again into 3 groups of 6, but honestly I can't remember what those represent. Either way. It's complicated. The nice Youtube video of the 108 bows explains what each one is for, however, if  you are curious!

 

After beading we headed to dinner where we must only take what we can eat, nothing is allowed left on your plate when you finish. Because of this, I took very little, and our Monk guide laughed at my plate. See? He's happy. 

Once dinner was finished we had some free time before gathering once more to complete our 108 bows. This time, I tried to close my eyes the entire time, not only to focus on why I was bowing but also to not look at the number on the screen. It actually made the time go by much faster and helped me think more about why we were bowing instead of listening to others struggling around me. You could tell people all felt relieved yet accomplished when we finished.

second row, 4th from the right

We were released for a short bit of free time and then we had tea with our guide to ask him questions. He first asked about our group and how we planned our trip. Hearing a Monk say "Fay-ees-euh-book?" was so foreign. He seemed impressed that we all took the time out of our weekend to travel from Seoul for this trip. He told us a little about himself. He had been at this temple since he was 7 years old- 7-YEARS-OLD! Crazy no? We assumed he must have been an orphan, often taken to temples to give them a better life here in Korea. He lived in the mountains for 3 years in solitude to achieve enlightenment living on only kimchi and rice. We asked him about his daily routine here and he said "Eat and play", then laughed. His little snipits of humor he sneaks in when he speaks to us are surprising and refreshing. We asked if he sleeps in similar sleeping arrangements as we do when we stay here. Again he laughs and replies, "Why, do you think I sleep in a bed? Beds are western inventions. They call to you." It's true...if we didn't have beds, and slept on the floor, we would sleep when we had to, not when we wanted to. You know you have all been "called" by your bed for a nap, when you should have been doing something productive.

By 9pm we were all fading fast after a long day with very little sleep. He left us and we snuggled down to get as much sleep as possible before the 3am wake up call the next morning. I woke up at 3:24 terrified that I had slept through the wake up drumming, so I woke my bunk mates and we scrambled to get ready, only to hear the drumming at 3:27 getting us up for the service. Half asleep and freezing we stumble into the main hall where we find a cushion. These cushions are really comfortable when you are really sleepy...

The service included lots of singing and bowing. Hearing the Monks singing was a great way to wake up. Their voices blended together filling the temple. While there are some tone-deaf singers in every group of people, for the most part they had gorgeous voices- our guide included. When he sang for us the night before I got goosebumps. The only problem I had during the service was knowing if when the Monk hit the bell, we were supposed to do a full bow or a half bow. Several times some of us would go down for a full bow only to look around and slowly come back up pretending it didn't happen and gracefully swap for a half bow. I don't think the Monks minded too much, but still...wasn't too clear.

This morning session got me thinking, however. I understand that temple stay programs have their purpose- spread the word of the Buddha as well as promote tourism here, but do the Monks find it disrespectful or think that they are being mocked in a way? Having a giant group of foreigners walk around the temple, bowing at the wrong times, talking when they shouldn't talk, not finishing all of their food, etc. Do they feel like we are disrupting their quiet way of life? A very limited few temple stay-ers are going to convert to Buddhism, and all we do is take pictures and play along with the rules for a few days. It seems like a bit of a show really. This may be a very negative way of looking at it, but honestly I just don't want to disrespect this open, humble, and traditional culture.

Back to the weekend--After the ceremony we were ushered back into the bow-room, where we were lead in a short tai-chi-like stretching class. Our Monk, translated by the group leader, had us catch and release energy through our bodies and try to relax our minds. As most of us were probably sleep deprived I don't think relaxation was an issue for us. Feeling stretched and ready for some breakfast we were then guided through a traditional Buddhist meal, completed once a day by the Monks at this temple. This intricate dance-like meal ceremony has several steps and specific jobs for those involved.

Seated in long straight rows, we began. First the napkins and bowls are placed in a certain location on the place mat, then the bowls are washed with cold water. The water is transferred from bowl to bowl until it arrives in the empty bowl at the top right corner of the mat. We are then given rice to put in our Buddha's bowl, which is to only ever contain rice (to represent what Buddha ate for an extended amount of time). We are then allowed to take more rice or put some back if we do not need to eat too much (it was then our Monk guide said he was afraid we weren't eating enough).

Next is soup, served down the line. Then side dishes. The rice, soup, and side dishes are all placed in separate bowls. We were then allowed to eat. Unlike the other meals, this one was not for slow, quiet, reflective eating. It seems we were to shovel our food down quickly and finish when our Monk guide finished so that we could complete the ceremony. Here's where things became interesting. Once all of our food was gone (besides one piece of radish or kimchi...I'll get to that in a second), hot water was poured into our Buddha's bowl. We used the extra piece of radish or kimchi and our chopsticks to clean the bowl of extra food scraps, then the water was poured into our soup and side dish bowls sequentially cleaning them out as well. Once we finished cleaning, we drank that water. Yep. All of it. This is to ensure that all traces of food are gone and in our bodies. Didn't taste too delicious, but wasn't as bad as it seems...

Lastly, we used the water from the beginning of the ceremony to clean out the dishes once more with our hands and towel. The remaining water was poured into a giant bucket. Our Monk said that if there was any food left in the bucket for that row of people, they would all have to drink it. One row had some left and a girl almost took a sip before our Monk laughed and said "no no!" I'm not sure if he was kidding about the WHOLE thing or just about US having to drink it...A unique and once in a lifetime experience for sure.

Later on we reconvened once more for a hike in the mountains surrounding the temple. Walking out to the main square to meet our Monk, I passed him and he grabbed my hood and pulled me backwards (in play of course...I hope...) I laughed then tried to practice my Korean. I mentioned that I do not know a lot, but I'm studying. Once he found out that Elizabeth and I were from America, he began singing the national anthem (using "La" instead of the words). Who else can say they've had a Monk sing them the national anthem? He was nearly finished and I couldn't help but smile. He then stopped and pretended to punch me. Again...not so peaceful! His playful and slightly sarcastic nature was unexpected, but I truly did enjoy learning from him for those few days. I just wish I could communicate with him better. I feel like there is so much he could teach us and so many experiences he could share.

We began by walking backwards up a hill..This was to meant represent not knowing what lies ahead. It was difficult not to look back at first, but eventually we all got the hang of giving the person in front of us space. Beginning the trail (forwards this time) we walked, at a snails pace in near silence, through the woods. Living in the city, it's hard to get my nature fix in. This definitely helped. The weather was perfect, and listening to the birds, trees, and water was the most relaxed I've been in a long time. Our first stop was by a small waterfall where he had everyone close their eyes and just listen to the water. I could have stayed there all day. A little further on we stopped to do a dynamic stretching session with partners, involving lots of twisting and pulling.

 

 

Our last stop on the journey was among giant pine trees. We sat and one Korean woman who was participating in a temple stay as well said that whenever they reach a beautiful spot like this, it's tradition to sing a song or poem. She graced us with a song called "Butterfly, let's go to Blue Mountain" (or something like that). The traditional singing style here is so different than what westerners are used to, but it was gorgeous in its own way. Our Monk then asked if any of us wanted to go next. I was surprised that out of 40 of us, no one wanted to sing! Hypocritical of me I guess, because I surely wasn't going to. He then stood up and sang for us once more, which we were all perfectly fine with. I didn't want it to stop. I tried to capture it in a video the best I could. I didn't want to be obvious about recording him, so I kept him hidden behind a tree. It was on this hike he expressed his wish to be able to communicate with us better, not through a translator. There were several times this trip that he stopped himself from telling us things, because they would be too complicated to be translated. This is both sad for us, as we don't get to learn as much as we could have, and also for him, to not be able to fully share his knowledge. Makes me wish I could be better in Korean as well, although a lot of the topics covered this weekend would be incredibly complicated. Anywhoo--

We wandered back to the temple to grab our last meal there and then change out of our temple stay clothes to head out. We said our goodbyes to our Monk guide and hopped on the bus once again to make our way back to Seoul. A few stops on the way home included a Bamboo forest. Aka a hill in the middle of the city covered in bamboo that they make people pay to enter and take selfies in. We walked up and down the bamboo covered hill, then somehow exited the area...and walked back along a main road outside of the park...Not sure how it happened, but we worked it out. Little America bonding time!

 Once again, got on the bus, and stopped close by at a tree-lined-road, which would have been much more majestic had there been leaves on the trees. As winter is just ending, the bare line of trees was more sad than beautiful. Anyway, a good reason to stretch the legs before the last leg back to Seoul.

Leaving at 3:45, we arrived at our last stop of the drive around 8, then took the subway to Bucheon about an hour away! Getting back home, I slept like a rock for the first time in a very long time. I'm hoping that I don't have to have weekends like this in order to sleep so well again. These trips are always a blast and I love the new experiences had, and friends made, but they definitely take it out of you!

Sorry, this was a long post...Hope you kept up! oxo Until next time.

Korean of the Post:
"나와 함께 집으로 데려 갈 수 있어요?"
(Naweh hamkae chipeuhlo daeryeo gal su iseoyo?)
Can I take him home with me?